When you go through a divorce, although it should be obvious, it is  really a surprise that you even though you are “rid of your spouse”, you really aren’t because you are tied to them through the kids.

This is why being smart about who you marry is super critical even when you are young and dumb.  Hey it happens and it happened to me.  

If you have read my earlier blog with the stinger comment “I am their father, their mother, their everything”, you may see some resentment from me.

Yeah it was there and for three years, sitting in and out of court over stupid stuff, it was really hard not to wish evil thoughts.  I am human.

However one thing remained the same, this is my kid’s father.  Like it or not, they don’t hate him and it is pretty petty of me to.  It’s a process, it took 12 years to get there.

Ironically the same kid that made us parents probably doesn’t realize he made us behave better.  

We were both proud parents and to pull this off we had to get along.

Our son was going to SUNY-Maritime and was an officer during summer seaterm.   As a benefit of this privilege, we were invited to ride on the ship with the students as they arrived to campus.   I have done this before, I met Michaels ship return to school, it’s a very special time.  

  
This was summer 2010 after his first seaterm. 

Flash forward two years and this time is different because we got to actually ride the ship in and meet everyone on land just like Michael did above.  We literally got to see things from the perspective of the students who were so excited and happy to be reunited with their family and loved ones! 

It was extremely awkward and challenging to cordinate.  I had to maneuver my husband along with the other five kids, to meet up with for the land celebration. I also had to pick up the kid’s dad (my ex) and get both of us to the school at 530am to meet the bus that had to take us miles away.

We pile on a crammed bus, forcing us to sit side by side.  I was dying a thousand deaths as we journeyed to the launch.  Bad habits were coming back like, if I talked too loud I would get “shushed”.

I thought to myself, wow I don’t miss that.  My husband and parents love me just the way I am – loud and all!  

Then it hit me, I am so much better off and happier in my new life.  Suddenly I felt this resentment lift.  This is a proud parent moment and no one got it more than we did.  It was time for me to “suck it up buttercup”.

And we did.  Our first post divorce proud parent photo.

  
Then we had a celebratory lunch on shore.  All kids accounted for.

  
We did father and kid photos:

  
  
All in all a happy, happy proud parent moment that we all enjoyed.  

Flash forward a year, at Michael’s graduation, who would have thought this photo was possible?  My parents were splashed into the mix and had to let their resentment lift as well.  They followed my example and we all had a memorable day!