In the Blink of an Eye

In 2000 in the first half of the year these were the milestones we achieved: 

• Our small business turned a profit and was on fire!
• We finished major renovations in our home and were happy entertaining in it.
• We just bought the perfect family boat.
• We lived in a great family  neighborhood with a yacht club where we loved being active.
• We were debt free with the exception of house and car.
• We had the first and only girl for both sides of the family. 

In July my husband said “You don’t make me happy anymore”.  When I tried to find out what was going on, my husband disappeared, leaving me alone with our four kids.  9, 6, 18 mos and a newborn.  

• I wasn’t allowed in the office anymore, they changed the locks.
• House was put on the market in December.
• Boat was eventually repossessed.
• We cancelled our yacht club membership.
• Debt increased immediately on lines of credit I had previously co-signed and left for me to pay.
• We still had the first girl in the family but the divorce kept her from getting the attention she deserved.  

Just the huge roller coaster of a ride was enough for anyone to give up.  Believe me I wanted to give up.  My best friend made sure I didn’t fall into depression.  It’s wasn’t an easy job, I was over my head.  

For many reasons, I had to move back home.  The main reason was to be near my parents for support.  It was a time when I never had a break, the inlaws steered clear of us, my soon to be ‘ex was busy enjoying his new freedom, we had to sell our house and start over.

Looking back on that year of the new Millennium, things didn’t turn out the way I expected.  Over the next three years I was able to find peace and provide my kids with a great support system with my parents and my husband.  It was a journey of rediscovering myself, learning about relationships trying to learn from my mistakes, and rolling up my sleeves as I muddled through raising four kids alone until I remarried in 2004.

It certainly wasn’t the easiest journey since I had to heal and begin to trust again.  

What I did learn was this:  never settle.  There are good people out there and if you aren’t tangled up in the wrong/bad relationship you will find the person they you are meant to be with or should be with.  

Not only did I find my soulmate, that I can trust completely, but someone who came in willing to take on a single mom with four kids, two in diapers.  

Happiness is possible, you have to be willing to be patient and partner up with the person that brings out your best, that makes you happy and encourages you without trying to make you be someone or something else.