While walking this morning I remembered something about Tim’s mom that brought a smile to my face.  We visited her about 10 years ago.  She suffered from Alzheimer’s and at this point she was still living on her own.    She really didn’t know any of our names so she called us “honey”.  The look on her face was genuine love & kindness.  She didn’t care if you were her blood grandchild or not, the one who visited the most or not.  She made everyone feel special.  We bombarded her home, all 8 of us, and we all left feeling loved.  Knowing they she knew we were her family and she made us all feel special.

It makes me sad that I didn’t have much time with her when she was well.  It also makes me sad that my kids had just met her and didn’t get to continue to grow their bond.  It makes me sad that Tim’s kids lost another grandparent.  

We continued to talk about the genuine feelings she had for everyone and agreed that is really a wonderful and rare quality.  

We also thought about different people in our lives and how it isn’t the same in most situations.  Time and money are shifted clearly along the lines of a clear “favorite” or more time is spent with the daughters family then the sons.  Priorities shift based on the one they have invested time and bonded with:

At the same time we both started smiling because we realized my parents DOING THE SAME THING.  

They have always treated all the grandkids equally whether they are blood or not and making them feel loved as well as important.  There are no favorites, everyone is reminded of their unique qualities and fair share of time/money.   It’s genuine kindness.

We only hope we are able to convey the same feelings to our kids and grandkids as our parents have for us.