I absolutely love summer and the carefree feeling!  It’s when we relax and take vacations.  I love warm weather and try to embrace every minute. They seem to fly by in the blink of an eye. I never seem to do everything that I thought would get done but I do try!

At the end of the summer, as in kids going back to school, I start to mourn the summer that hasn’t officially ended.

Even though I am no longer in school, this time of year everything seems to come to a crashing end because my kids start back at school. I remember how I felt when faced with having to go back to school myself. Even though I wasn’t a perfect student, I did manage to get decent grades. I still didn’t love school. I thought of it as a means to an end and focused on the diploma.  
This time of year also reminds me of another scary time in my life, when my marriage ended. I was left completely alone to raise my four kids, a new born, a toddler and two young boys. I cannot believe that I managed to get through that time of my life and that there wasn’t some sort of accident like the gorilla cage or the Disney Gater. I had my hands full and felt totally overwhelmed!  I simply couldn’t believe my life had changed so much in the blink of an eye.

It was scary to be dependent on others when I was mourning the family that had I thought I had.  I thought I had help, I thought I had someone that I had previous nominated for dad of the year and I fully expected that to continue.  It didn’t, my family unit completely blew up. I was left to take care of the kids alone.

If it wasn’t for the help and support of my friends and my parents I don’t know what I would have done. I am truly grateful for that. 

Times like this can either ruin you or make you stronger.  This experience made me realize that it is up to me and me alone to make things work. Even though I did have help along the way, I was ultimately in charge.   It was very scary parenting alone! 

Times of year can stir up old weird feelings. It’s best to recognize it and not let it change or affect you in the now of today.  
It’s a challenge for me.