We were only 15 months apart and growing up we got along about as much as we argued. No one else could dare say anything about each other or we stood up tall. We moved several times and always had each other as a back up friend until we made our own friends.

On vacations we often would go to the beach. Our family would drive and my sister & I would be stuck in the backseat together. My dad built a cushioned unit that fit over the floor board. We would fight over who could sleep on it instead of the back seat with those annoying seatbelts. My parents would drive in the middle of the night hoping we would sleep. They even draped a blanket over the seats to make it darker. At some point we would wake up and pop our heads out of the blanket. My dad would say “oh no, they are up!” They knew the questions would begin “how much longer until we get there”, “I am hungry are we stopping to eat?” To keep our mind off of food and bathroom stops, and probably to drown out the whining, they would play music on their 8 track tape player. We would sing along to the greatest hits of Mamas and the Papas and the sound track to “Hair”.

For the most part we got along on vacations as we only had each other. I really loved the beginning of vacation because about mid way through on every single vacation, the attention would shift to my sister because she ALWAYS got sick. One year she had chicken pox, but it was usually stomach issues from eating too much fruit or severe sunburn.

At home, we were typical loud and dramatic girls. If anything was missing we would scream through the house “Mom, Leslie/Carrie stole my (fill in the blank)!” My mom would race around trying to find the missing item to stop the drama. Often the missing object would suddenly appear. I really think we both made a habit to use this tactic to find missing things.

Once we were both in college we became super close friends. We talked on the phone and wrote letters at some point almost every day! This is almost unheard of these days. I still have my box of letters. We even spent spring breaks together. I would go to Clemson to visit and she would come to Charleston. We got married within months of each other and had our first baby three months apart. She beat me on that one!

She lived in Jacksonville Beach and I lived in Charleston.

Right after my sister’s 28th birthday, she planned a group trip to Snowshoe West Virgina. It was a big group from her work at Barnette Bank. She invited me but I couldn’t go since I was pregnant with Hunter. Her college roommate and her husband went. They had a great weekend. I honestly was jealous because that was one of the places I always wanted to check out. We had heard it was super nice place.

However on their last day something went terribly wrong and my sister had an accident that ultimately killed her. It was at that moment I lost my best friend and our family was changed forever.

To this day when I drive south on I-95 South, when the sun is shining brightly, making everything look a certain way, familiar exits signs and the buildings with the Spanish tile roofs, I know I am about to see my sister.

The feelings of excitement are similar to our childhood beach vacations when we would almost be there! The water towers, exit “13”, the farm stands, the salt air and then pulling in the driveway with sheer excitement of the vacation ahead.

Life has away of moving forward and keeping us busy. The hardest thing to wrap my mind around is that she isn’t here anymore. She didn’t get to be the Aunt to my kids. It took me several years to realize I could not pick up the phone to just chat and solve the problem of the day. It was painful going through my divorce without her support.

I still have this feeling that she is somehow around us. She had such a strong presence in my younger life, but I miss the fact that she isn’t weaving into our memories of today. I find comfort when things unexpectedly fall in to place and I like to think somehow my sister had something to do with it.